Isn’t it annoying when somebody you care about, a family member, your teenage son or daughter, your spouse, or even a close friend decides to take the advice of somebody else rather than you? What’s even worse is when that advice is basically the same thing you had been saying for weeks or months.
You just want to bang your head against the wall. And you wonder why.
One of those struggles some people face when supporting an aging parent or grandparent is that it doesn’t seem to make any difference what you say or do; that elderly person won’t listen to a thing you say.
So, you reach your breaking point. Your boiling point. And you give up. Maybe you tell them you just can’t do this anymore and advise them to look to elder care, thinking it’s going to be worse than having you support them.
Then, within a few weeks, you begin to realize this might very well have been a far better decision. Maybe this was something you should have thought about and discussed earlier. Yet, one of the most frustrating components of all of this is that the elder care provider is saying the exact same things, encouraging the same things you did for weeks or months, but now, only now, this senior is listening to them.
Why does this happen?
It isn’t the advice. It’s the person giving it. You see, sometimes it can be difficult for an aging senior to listen to their adult child trying to tell them what they should or shouldn’t do. The dynamic of the relationship has shifted and that is a difficult thing to accept.
However, when that same information or advice comes from a person cloaked in the guise of professionalism, which an experienced elder care provider should very well be, especially when they work for an agency, it has a different impact.
Don’t take it personally.
While this may sting a little, while you may get frustrated having to go through this situation, don’t take it personal. Be glad this aging loved one is finally taking your advice, even if it is coming from someone else. Even if somebody else is getting the credit.
After all, what’s the most important thing here? Their safety, their quality of life, their health, and their well-being. That’s all you care about. That’s all we should care about.
Sometimes, that is just the way it is. It can be easier to listen to somebody who comes across as a professional rather than family, even though our loved ones have the best of intentions, their advice is spot on, and it is the same exact thing this elder care provider is saying.